Wrap Up

Howdy Kids,

Wrapping up a bit early, since, well, I'm not sure anyone is out there anymore. I thought it would be a good week to wrap up our final thoughts about Marry Him; The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough. So my question is simple - after reading the book, what are your final thoughts?

Truthfully, the book was quite eye-opening to me. Why? Because I think I discovered early on that I am probably the complete opposite of Gottlieb. If I were to analyze my dating faults, it would be that I've been too open, and probably haven't put enough thought into some of the criteria for the men I've dated. If anything, I've gone out with many guys who I knew beforehand didn't fit my bill, but in the spirit of "try anything once" have given them a go. The results on this has been a mixed bag; some were fine dates and made good friends (none of whom I'm still speaking to now), and some were complete disasters. In the end, I would say my spirit of open-mindedness helped me develop good dating techniques. I realize learning what not to do is perhaps not the best way to approach dating, but it worked for me.

I guess, in many ways, I'm not picky. This isn't to say that I date just anyone. But as I read about some of the reasons Gottlieb and others had X'd out potential suitors, I had to laugh. I'm sure my dating profile was passed many a time based on my looks alone, and perhaps that's why I didn't care if a guy was wearing a bow tie, or didn't smile enough, or had on too much yellow. Sure, I have preferences. But in the end of the day, it's the conversation that's going to keep me going.

And for god's sake - go out and meet someone for coffee! I've done this dozens of time. And really - why not? It's just coffee.

If anything, Marry Him has inspired me to one day write the work on how some of us approach dating from the other extreme. The perspective presented in this book is invaluable, and at the end of the day, I have to say; I'm glad I've taken my approach, and not Gottlieb's.

Week of March 15th

OK, Kids! Book Club is winding down, and the topics are getting juicier. Here are this week's questions. As always, please reference which questions you are answering.

1. In the chapter What First Dates Really Tell Us, Gottlieb discusses how we are often too quick to judge a person by the first date experience. Thinking about this, name three things that would make you NOT want to go out on a second date. After you list them, go back and answer - are these really deal breakers?

2. In the chapter Are Women Pickier Than Men, Gottlieb addresses the question of women having higher (and relatively unrealistic) expectations about their potential suitors. Thinking of modern day, answer this: Are women pickier than men? Why or why not?

For next week, finish the book! I'll do a final week of questions, and then the following week, a wrap up of final thoughts on the book.

Cheers!
LuckyBroad

Week of March 8th

Some very interesting concepts in this week's chapters! I'm going to narrow it down to two questions that I feel are pretty key (and perhaps, controversial). Remember when responding to correlate the number question you are responding to.

1. On page 131, Dr. Broder states that "he sees a heightened sense of entitlement that previous generations didn't have" when it comes to dating. Agree? Or disagree?

2. In the beginning of Part 3, Gottlieb talks about "maximizers" and "satisficers". Maximizers are the ones who are always looking for something better. Satisficers are the ones who find what they are looking for, and are happy with it (I just really simplified this concept - here's some more on it). What are your thoughts on this concept? Can Maximizers truly find success, or are they doomed to a life of constantly looking for the Holy Grail of relationships?

Just a comment that I found the "Melanie/Mark" email exchange very enlightening on p. 138, and as a result, wrote this blog post. Feel free to come and comment there on the new found technological expectations of the dating world.

For next week, let's go ahead and read through to p. 251, the end of the chapter "Mondays with Evan - Session Five". I will comment on Friday.

Cheers!

Week of March 1st

Greeting Sexy Bitch and Beasts!

Sorry for the delayed post. I had a small vacation and have been under the weather, but I hope this has given you a chance to catch up.

Reading is getting interesting! This week, we read through p. 106. I've got some questions for you. As always, answer all, some or none, but reference which number question you're answering. And frankly, there's no points off if you haven't done the reading, and would like to answer anyway (although I encourage the reading in the context of the questions). Here goes!

1. On page 103, Gottlieb talks about instant attraction vs. the attraction that's formulated over time. Is it possible that attraction can grow on us, or our our initial assessments usually the best?

2. On page 110, Gottlieb consults with Evan Katz (on Twitter at @evanmarckatz) who states the following: "It's on thing for a partner to accept your interests. It's another to ask them to feel the way you do". What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel partners need to have a lot in common, or are divergent interests a good thing?

3. Gottlieb received the dating advice that when pursuing online dating, the less you know about a potential date ahead of time, the better. What are your thoughts?

For next week, go ahead and read through to page 183, "Pulling Another Sheldon".

I'll post my response to this week's question on Friday.

Best to everyone!

LuckyBroad