Wrap Up

Howdy Kids,

Wrapping up a bit early, since, well, I'm not sure anyone is out there anymore. I thought it would be a good week to wrap up our final thoughts about Marry Him; The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough. So my question is simple - after reading the book, what are your final thoughts?

Truthfully, the book was quite eye-opening to me. Why? Because I think I discovered early on that I am probably the complete opposite of Gottlieb. If I were to analyze my dating faults, it would be that I've been too open, and probably haven't put enough thought into some of the criteria for the men I've dated. If anything, I've gone out with many guys who I knew beforehand didn't fit my bill, but in the spirit of "try anything once" have given them a go. The results on this has been a mixed bag; some were fine dates and made good friends (none of whom I'm still speaking to now), and some were complete disasters. In the end, I would say my spirit of open-mindedness helped me develop good dating techniques. I realize learning what not to do is perhaps not the best way to approach dating, but it worked for me.

I guess, in many ways, I'm not picky. This isn't to say that I date just anyone. But as I read about some of the reasons Gottlieb and others had X'd out potential suitors, I had to laugh. I'm sure my dating profile was passed many a time based on my looks alone, and perhaps that's why I didn't care if a guy was wearing a bow tie, or didn't smile enough, or had on too much yellow. Sure, I have preferences. But in the end of the day, it's the conversation that's going to keep me going.

And for god's sake - go out and meet someone for coffee! I've done this dozens of time. And really - why not? It's just coffee.

If anything, Marry Him has inspired me to one day write the work on how some of us approach dating from the other extreme. The perspective presented in this book is invaluable, and at the end of the day, I have to say; I'm glad I've taken my approach, and not Gottlieb's.

Week of March 15th

OK, Kids! Book Club is winding down, and the topics are getting juicier. Here are this week's questions. As always, please reference which questions you are answering.

1. In the chapter What First Dates Really Tell Us, Gottlieb discusses how we are often too quick to judge a person by the first date experience. Thinking about this, name three things that would make you NOT want to go out on a second date. After you list them, go back and answer - are these really deal breakers?

2. In the chapter Are Women Pickier Than Men, Gottlieb addresses the question of women having higher (and relatively unrealistic) expectations about their potential suitors. Thinking of modern day, answer this: Are women pickier than men? Why or why not?

For next week, finish the book! I'll do a final week of questions, and then the following week, a wrap up of final thoughts on the book.

Cheers!
LuckyBroad

Week of March 8th

Some very interesting concepts in this week's chapters! I'm going to narrow it down to two questions that I feel are pretty key (and perhaps, controversial). Remember when responding to correlate the number question you are responding to.

1. On page 131, Dr. Broder states that "he sees a heightened sense of entitlement that previous generations didn't have" when it comes to dating. Agree? Or disagree?

2. In the beginning of Part 3, Gottlieb talks about "maximizers" and "satisficers". Maximizers are the ones who are always looking for something better. Satisficers are the ones who find what they are looking for, and are happy with it (I just really simplified this concept - here's some more on it). What are your thoughts on this concept? Can Maximizers truly find success, or are they doomed to a life of constantly looking for the Holy Grail of relationships?

Just a comment that I found the "Melanie/Mark" email exchange very enlightening on p. 138, and as a result, wrote this blog post. Feel free to come and comment there on the new found technological expectations of the dating world.

For next week, let's go ahead and read through to p. 251, the end of the chapter "Mondays with Evan - Session Five". I will comment on Friday.

Cheers!

Week of March 1st

Greeting Sexy Bitch and Beasts!

Sorry for the delayed post. I had a small vacation and have been under the weather, but I hope this has given you a chance to catch up.

Reading is getting interesting! This week, we read through p. 106. I've got some questions for you. As always, answer all, some or none, but reference which number question you're answering. And frankly, there's no points off if you haven't done the reading, and would like to answer anyway (although I encourage the reading in the context of the questions). Here goes!

1. On page 103, Gottlieb talks about instant attraction vs. the attraction that's formulated over time. Is it possible that attraction can grow on us, or our our initial assessments usually the best?

2. On page 110, Gottlieb consults with Evan Katz (on Twitter at @evanmarckatz) who states the following: "It's on thing for a partner to accept your interests. It's another to ask them to feel the way you do". What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel partners need to have a lot in common, or are divergent interests a good thing?

3. Gottlieb received the dating advice that when pursuing online dating, the less you know about a potential date ahead of time, the better. What are your thoughts?

For next week, go ahead and read through to page 183, "Pulling Another Sheldon".

I'll post my response to this week's question on Friday.

Best to everyone!

LuckyBroad

Section One and Two

Greetings Sexy Bitches and Beasts!

For Week One, we road the first two chapters: "The Dating Trenches" and "The Romantic Comedy That Predicted My Future".

Here are this week's discussion questions. Answer all, some, or none! But please do indicate which question you are answering by the number posted.

1. Gottlieb refers to "Deal Breakers" in a dating scenario. What's "deal breakers" have you had in your past, and are they still the same today as they were, say, ten years ago?

2. Similarly, what shortcomings have made you overlook a man in the past, and do you still fell the same way? Should we have shortcomings at all, or should we embrace Gottlieb's advice toward a more spirited, open-minded dating approach?

3. Do you agree that how women view dating at 20 is far different than how we view dating at 40? And how so?

I'll post my replies in the comment section tomorrow, but please feel free to get the conversation rolling! If you are following up with someone's comment or question, please be sure to refer to them specifically so we know who you are responding to.

For next Tuesday (2/23), please read the next four chapters:
* How Feminism Fucks Up My Love Life
* Speed Dating Disaster
*Older, and Wanting to Be Wiser
* $3500 for Love (through page 106).

Thanks!
LuckyBroad

Warm Up Question

Greetings, all! I don't officially start Book Club until next week (2/16) since I know most of you are still getting and reading your books. But, I thought I'd post a warm-up question for those of you already reading. Here goes!

On pages 3 to 5, Gottlieb posts her extensive shopping list of qualities from the Husband Store. Using Gottlieb's list, what three (and only three!) qualities would you select for your ideal husband, and why? And, select one quality NOT on Gottlieb's list that you would want in an ideal husband.

I'll post my answer in the comments. Now ... go! :-)

LuckyBroad

Welcome to Virtual Book Club!

Welcome to the first ever Virtual Book Club brought to you by the ladies at Suddenly Singles!

Our first ever selection is the following: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. Here's a little more about the book:

“By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face–how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy–as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.”

Grab your copies now! We'll begin our discussion of the first two chapters on Tuesday, February 16th and run once a week from that point (I haven't seen the book yet myself, hopefully, it runs in chapters!).

Some ground rules:

* Participation is everything!
* Be kind and courteous to your Club-Mates. I reserve the right to delete any posts I find to be offensive and boot the member if they keep it up.
* That being said, let's have some thoughtful, provoking discussions and keep it interesting!
* You'll need to be a registered user to post
* Have Fun!

I look forward to kicking this off. I can be reached at luckybroad10@gmail.com at any time for questions and/or comments.

Best!
Lucky Broad (formerly "SingleGal".