Greeting Sexy Bitch and Beasts!
Sorry for the delayed post. I had a small vacation and have been under the weather, but I hope this has given you a chance to catch up.
Reading is getting interesting! This week, we read through p. 106. I've got some questions for you. As always, answer all, some or none, but reference which number question you're answering. And frankly, there's no points off if you haven't done the reading, and would like to answer anyway (although I encourage the reading in the context of the questions). Here goes!
1. On page 103, Gottlieb talks about instant attraction vs. the attraction that's formulated over time. Is it possible that attraction can grow on us, or our our initial assessments usually the best?
2. On page 110, Gottlieb consults with Evan Katz (on Twitter at @evanmarckatz) who states the following: "It's on thing for a partner to accept your interests. It's another to ask them to feel the way you do". What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel partners need to have a lot in common, or are divergent interests a good thing?
3. Gottlieb received the dating advice that when pursuing online dating, the less you know about a potential date ahead of time, the better. What are your thoughts?
For next week, go ahead and read through to page 183, "Pulling Another Sheldon".
I'll post my response to this week's question on Friday.
Best to everyone!
LuckyBroad
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1. In my opinion, attraction can grow, but there always must be some spark there at first. If you see someone, and you feel no interest toward them at first, then it usually turns out to be a dud. But if you feel that spark, the spark can grow into a forest fire.
ReplyDelete2. I always like having different interests from my partner, even though they are usually based along the same thing. For instance, I love cooking and food, while my boy loves beer. That still gives each of us the opportunity to try new foods/beer. Or I like volleyball and running, he likes football. We still have the basic things in common (trying something new, working out), which helps us be able to enjoy things together. But we also have very different interests, which keeps things lively because that encourages one another to try new things.
3. I think that knowing a few basic details is okay, but if you learn too much about your date before you meet him/her, you can already have all of these preconceived notions about them that are tough to break.
The Southern Belle Blogs
1. I fully believe attraction can grow over time. My major relationships… heck almost all of my dating experience has worked this way. I believe only once have I ever dated someone that I hadn’t been friends/friendly with previously. That being said I thought that would be a bad way to continue dating since what I usually did… wasn’t working out so great. This time, I went out with a friend, without dating in mind, not even close! I was even mentally preparing myself for online dating, and meeting new people who I knew nothing about and that thought terrified me! I’m weird when I’m nervous… I know this. So I couldn’t fathom jumping into the dating pool and being very successful but I was ready for it. And when I wasn’t looking for it, in he came and kissed me in the middle of our ‘friends meeting for drinks’. Swept me off my feet, right and proper and we’ve been disgustingly happy since. Just when I thought I resolved to focus on myself, friendships and work there he was. Someone I knew for a number of years previous and assumed had no interest in me and was therefore safe to be myself around!
ReplyDelete2. I feel that partners need to be working toward a similar end goal. As I said before we needed to have similar life goals in mind (kids, pets, house, healthy living etc) Its near impossible to meet your on paper perfect mate and I knew that long before reading this book, or ‘he’s just not that into you’. I knew there needed to be differences in order to facilitate learning for each person, growth and well, something to talk about. I have friends who are a lot like me in very interesting ways… I have friends who are very different from me in equally interesting ways. I know for a fact that I couldn’t date myself. We’d be very indecisive, lazy and fat. I NEED to be with someone who is different from me in order to motivate me. Though, it doesn’t hurt that Mr Man has a similar obsession with cute animal pictures on the internet… and can appreciate a good (read craptastic) RomCom now and again. I learned early in life we need to learn to pick our battles. So I’m tidier than him. He’s more motivated than me. So we’ll balance that way. We’ll play to our strengths and not bicker over differences (too much)
3. I think not just in online dating, in dating in general this can apply. I thought I knew all there was to know about family history with Mr Man but low and behold I find out new things ALL the time. I find it an adventure when I discover new things. I love learning, and learning about those I love makes it all the more enjoyable. If I knew all there was to know about him, then prejudices will come into play. Which they sort of did when I originally ruled him out in the datable category, and stuck him on the friends for life roster. I thought he was a party guy, someone who had strings of girls falling over him and someone who was go go go… I am not that big into parties all the time, I am not into being one of the flocks of ladies, I want to mate for life, and I am not genetically predispositioned to be go go go… when I do go go go… I get really really tired and cranky. I need downtime to keep things balanced. But I found out that he likes to have ‘chill time’ and he’s 100% not a serial dater.. in fact he can’t even grasp how people can have multiple people on the go, he’s a one woman man, he said its because he gets distracted easily and he likes to focus on someone to get to know them.
Thanks for sharing your stories, ladies! I have to say, I think we're in the minority that the "attraction can grow" category, but it will be interesting to hear what others think.
ReplyDeleteI'm told I am in the minority for trusting as much as I do. I'm totally fine that Mr Man's in touch with Exs and even that he talks about them and the ladies he works with. It wouldn't even bother me if he went to lunch with any of them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm wired differently... but I learned early that the perfect guy may be over looked because the spark is missing.... but sometimes it takes a few tries to light that fire!!!
1. Like Maritimegypsy and Emily, I, too, think attraction can grow over time. I can think of one example in my life where this is the case, and I was probably just as surprised as the next person at the outcome. I agree there has to a small *something* there, but we need to be careful of crossing people off our list of small, petty things that in the end of the day, won't even matter.
ReplyDelete2. I agree that having divergent interests, to a certain degree, is a good thing. I believe a couple should have some hobbies and activities they like to do together, but that other activities should be reserved for girlfriend and the like. My Ex was an artist and I always indulged and supported his hobby. Didn't mean that I loved art myself; just that I was happy he did.
3. I think this is a very interesting question. There are some obvious basics that need to be covered, but I sort of like to meet people with the spirit of "not knowing". If you know too much, then you tend to get hung up on the "little things" you may not like about them. If you get to know the whole package on your own terms (and not reading it from a profile), I think you stand a better chance of understanding who that person is.